Roles in a DDLG relationship

As a form of role play, it makes sense that the roles each participant plays in DDLG would be very important. It’s not quite as simple as just having a daddy and a little though, and even within these two roles there are a lot of variations in the way they can be explored and utilised during your roleplay.

There are also some important expectations that come with each role, which are important to understand if you want to play them to their full potential. DDLG is a unique kink, and it is not everyone's cup of tea. In fact, DDLG relationships come with controversies and some are eager to explore the psychology behind it.

Now, let's talk about the roles.

Daddy dom commands

Commands are an element of role play that the dominant partner will need to be comfortable with. When the daddy or mommy gives their little a command, it should be taken seriously and followed by the little. However the dominant partner is also responsible for making sure that their commands are reasonable and in the spirit of the roleplay.

Some common commands a daddy might give include:

  • Tidy your room or toys.
  • Not to touch certain things in the house.
  • To hold hands while out in public.
  • Going to bed at a certain time.
  • Not swearing or using bad language.
  • Always saying please or thank you.

It’s up to you which commands you want to give your little, and which parts of your life you will have command over. Some even like to have control over the sex lives too, with restrictions on being able to touch themselves or who they are allowed sexual relations with.

DDLG nicknames

A common element of many relationships are nicknames that the partners will give to each other. This isn’t just restricted to DDLG relationships, as even in vanilla relationships people will often call each other “babe”, “boo” or even “daddy.

In DDLG relationships, nicknames can be more important than usual, thanks to the somewhat controversial nature of the fetish. To avoid awkward public situations where other people may not be comfortable with your role play, couples will often make use of these nicknames which only they know the real meaning of.

Common DDLG nicknames include:

  • Daddy or mommy.
  • Meemaw or pop-pop.
  • Master or mistress.
  • Sir or madam.
  • King or Queen.
  • Boo.
  • Baby girl.
  • Princess or Prince.
  • Champ.
  • Senpai.
  • Honey.

Again we could go on for hours. You’ll probably settle on something that feels right for your own relationship and dynamic as you become more and more experienced with DDLG.


As DDLG will usually involved one partner more in control of the situation than the other, it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that some elements of BDSM are also present. In particular, the dominance and submission elements.

It’s important to have a thorough understanding of these things, as submitting to another requires a huge amount of trust. Being a dominant partner doesn’t just mean you get to call the shots and decide everything. As a dominant you also have many additional responsibilities for your partner.

Most importantly, you’ll be the one responsible for the safety of your submissive (in this case your little). You need to create a safe environment where they can explore their little space without fear of hurting themselves physically or psychologically.

An essential part of creating a safe and comfortable environment for your submissive involves introducing accessories that symbolize your special dynamics such as an adult collar or even a playful brat collar. There are several cute collars for women in the market which are not only trendy and fashionable but also serve as a visual reminder of your DDLG setup.

You’ll also be the driving force behind a lot of your roleplay, as nearly all decisions will ultimately be made by you. Even when your little suggests activities or things to do, you will have the last say, and can modify or change their suggestions as you see fit. It’s important to use this power responsibly though, as you shouldn’t be putting your little in any situations which are uncomfortable or unwanted.

Another important factor is that you may need to be the caretaker to their adult responsibilities. Having to pause the roleplay to take a phone call, or deal with shopping, mail, or bills can pull you out of your little space faster than anything else. Due to this, many littles will pass on the responsibility of dealing with these things to their dominant partner.

Finally, and for some doms most importantly, you’ll need to make sure that your submissive is following the rules! There should be reasonable and firm punishments if they don’t, but also rewards and praise if they do.

Dominants aren’t the only ones who take on extra responsibilities though. As a submissive, you need to place your trust in your partner and have faith that they aren’t going to anything harmful for you.

While most of the role of a submissive will simply be to do as they are told and not to misbehave, it’s not all simple and easy. The way a submissive reacts to situations will often be what makes the roleplay believable and enjoyable. If you were to receive a punishment from your daddy, simply going along with it and showing no signs of regret or disappointment will make it feel rather hollow.

Instead, submissives may argue, have tantrums, or any of the other reactions a real child may have.

It’s also worth noting that the “perfect” submissive isn’t always the best submissive. Exploring these relationships allow the little to explore aspects of child life, but they also allow the dominant to experience things that they wouldn’t normally be able to. In order for them to truly feel like they are having the full dominant experience, their submissive must also act appropriately.

Different Kinds of Dominant

Just because someone gets to be in charge, it doesn't mean that it’s always going to be the same! Each dominant can have their own distinct style, which can change the roleplay experience significantly.

One common difference between dominants is how they treat their partner. Some will want to “own” their submissive, controlling everything they do and treating them like a piece of property. These dominants will require complete surrender from their partner, and often these relationships will have very few limits on what can’t be done.

Another style is to act as a mentor or guide to a submissive, feeling that it’s their responsibility to teach their partner. These lessons may only revolve around the chosen kink or fetish, or may extend further into life with areas such as exercise, healthy eating, or even careers.

At the extreme end, a dominant may enjoy completely losing control, and being free to indulge in any whims or desires they have. This type of power dynamic should only be permitted with someone you truly trust, as even if the dominant is “out of control”, they still need to keep the safety of their partner in mind.

Different Types of Submissive, Not Just Princess

Just as the dominant partner can take on a host of different roles, so too can the submissive. While they aren’t the one in a powerful position, submissives can still direct the scenes and roleplay in directions they want to explore. Most often this will manifest in the way they act during their scenes.

The most common style of submissive will be a Princess, often wearing a princess butt plug (or Prince). They enjoy being waited on hand and foot, and expect a life of luxury at all times. Sometimes their desires may be a little too extreme though, and they’ll need to be reigned in by their dominant partner.

Another style will be the kind of submissive who is devoted to pleasing their partner. Not only will they do everything that is asked of them, but also go above and beyond. Chores and household tasks will be done without asking, and they will try to make the life of their dominant as comfortable and enjoyable as they can.

Some just simply like to be told what to do! These people completely embrace the life of the slave, completing any task given to them and obeying all the rules. As far as they’re concerned, their lives are made worthwhile by being an object that their dominant can use and abuse.

Don’t Be Afraid to Experiment!

Even if you think you know which style or role you normally fit into, you shouldn’t always play it safe. Not only can exploring different styles change the experience you have in a single session, but it can also help you understand the entire power dynamic much more. For example, if you need a change of pace from DDLG, then try other forms of roleplay, like petplay.

Experimentation is also not limited to switching roles. You may add bondage kits to your sessions and play around with an adult pacifier gag for the "little girl". While this practice is more common in the Adult Baby, Diaper Lover (ABDL) community, adding an abdl gag into the mix might just open new pathways to kink exploration for you. Other bondage kits you might like to try include BDSM ropes and adult restraints. While separate from DDLG, the art of rope bondage might just appeal to you.

Once you’ve decided which role you enjoy the most, you can take these lessons with you and make your scenes more enjoyable than ever!

You can also throw your partner out of their comfort zone! Sometimes a reaction you weren’t expecting or a change of character can be a nice surprise, and you might end up finding something new that you love and want to try again and again.


A very important element of DDLG is punishments. Without them, the entire dynamic of control and submission fails to work properly, as there is no consequence to ignoring the dominant partner.

While some more hardcore BDSM fetishes make use of very severe and sometimes painful punishments, DDLG will often take a gentler approach, much like a parent would with a child.

Some example punishments you may want to try in your DDLG relationship include:

  • Sending your little to their room, potentially without dinner or earlier than usual.
  • Taking away some of their favourite toys or stuffed animals for a period of time.
  • Using a naughty step, just as you would with a small child.
  • Making them write lines, or do chores each time they misbehave.

If you want to be a bit more sexual with your punishments, you might decide to try:

  • Spanking, either with your hand or with paddles or whips.
  • Various types of punishment bondage.
  • Withholding sex or orgasms.
  • Tickling them so much that becomes a form of torture.

Punishments, while obviously a negative thing, aren’t all bad. You can come up with virtually any punishment you could think of, as long as it’s safe.

Spending time figuring out your punishments together can be a lot of fun, and might even give you the chance to explore some darker fantasies in a unique and interesting way!

Rewarding Your Little

Just as punishments are an integral part of maintaining the immersion and sense of role play, you also need to reward your little when they do things well! Without the balance between the two, the roleplay can quickly become less believable, and seem more like a sadist/masochist relationship rather than a DDLG one.

Examples of rewards you could give your little include:

  • Letting them choose the next activity you do together.
  • Their favourite dessert after dinner.
  • Bringing them home gifts or chocolate.
  • Taking a surprise trip together.
  • Letting them stay up past bedtime.
  • Letting them sleep in your bed.
  • Giving them more TV or computer time.

It’s worth spending as much time coming up with rewards as you do punishments, as the two are equally important. After all, if you never give your little any praise or reward, then what incentive do they have to obey the rules you create?

What is a Middle?

While the majority of writing on DDLG primarily focuses on the “little girl” dynamic, the great thing about ageplay is that you can explore it however you want. For some people, this means exploring life as a teenager. This is commonly known as taking on the role of a middle, rather than a little.

Depending on how you want your roleplay to go, a middle may be much more appropriate than a little. Life as a teenager is a difficult period, and there will be plenty of unique and interesting scenarios you can act out with your partner.

With the extra few years, the submissive partner may even be able to explore some of the deeper aspects of DDLG. Ideas and themes that younger children are often hidden away from are on the table, and you can change your roleplay scenarios to reflect this!

What is a Switch?

The last role you might find in a DDLG relationship is that of a switch. These are simply people who enjoy both sides of the relationship, sometimes wanting to be free and explore little space, and other times wishing to be in control and make the rules themselves.

Thanks to the nature of these kinds of interaction, switches will most commonly pair up with other switches. They might take it in turns, with each of them being in control on different nights. Or sometimes someone will be more disposed to one role, and only occasionally want to swap to the other side.

With the right switch pairing though, you can have an awful lot of fun. Some get so good at reading each other, that they are able to swap roles at any point, even during roleplay. Just by reading the signs and signals their partner gives off, they can drop in and out of the different roles exactly how actors can improvise off of one another.

Figure Out Your Roles At The Start

In most cases, the best thing you can do is spend some time at the start of your relationship to figure out exactly what your roles are going to be. There’s nothing worse than thinking things will go one way, then suddenly being surprised by the way your partner acts. This kind of scenario often leads to a less enjoyable experience for everyone.

On the other hand, by planning things out ahead of time, you can both know what to expect. This lets you focus entirely on the roleplay at hand, without having to worry about what might or might not happen! If you're just starting your DDLG journey with someone, click here for other helpful insights.

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