When exploring the world of DDLG or many other similar roleplaying practises, you put yourself into a vulnerable position. It’s very easy for people to take advantage of this for their own benefit...Read More
DDLG Beginner's Guide - What is DDLG?
There are a huge number of fetishes, roleplay scenarios, and sexual preferences enjoyed by people all over the world. Some simply enjoy different things, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this!
One of the more uncommon fetishes is DDLG. You might never have heard of this before, or you might simply be looking for more information so you can start enjoying this kind of relationship with your partner.
So in this article, we’ll be covering all the basics you’ll need to know about DDLG!
What is DDLG?
DDLG is a sexual fetish with some relations to the BDSM community. It stands for Daddy Dom, Little Girl, and is a fetish where couples explore the relationship between a parent and child.
While it primarily involves a male father figure and a female child figure, DDLG can be enjoyed by everyone!
There is often a lot of controversy around DDLG relationships as they can involve a sexual element. However, it's important to point out that as long as both partners are happy and willing to take part, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying this kind of relationship!
Although DDLG is its own type of fetish and roleplay, it does involve many elements found in other scenarios. These can include:
- Ageplay, which involves participants roleplaying characters who are younger or older than their real age.
- Power exchanges, where one person in the relationship takes on much more responsibility and control over the other.
- Dominance and submission, where one partner will be expected to follow the rules set out by the other.
- Punishments, which can be administered by the dominant partner if their submissive doesn’t follow these rules.
- Costumes and outfits, which can be worn by one or both of the partners.
- Sexual play, which may take place during the roleplay.
You don’t have to do all or even any of these things to enjoy DDLG though! The great thing is that you can decide which elements are important to you, and create your own relationship that you can enjoy fully whenever you want!
What is a daddy dom?
The role of daddy dom will be taken on by the more dominant partner in the relationship. Despite the name, the male isn’t always the one who takes on this role. Female participants can also hold the power in the relationship, and when this happens they will usually be referred to as a mommy dom instead.
In most BDSM relationships, the dominant partner will usually be focused on exercising their power to control, restrict, or exploit their partner. This satisfies a submissives desire to experience many negative emotions, which they enjoy as a part of the roleplay.
In DDLG things are a little different. The dominant partner takes on the roles of a parent, and will need to make their partner feel loved, secure, and cared for. When done right though, these relationships can be just as rewarding as any other!
What is a Little?
The other half of the DDLG dynamic is the little. These are the people in the relationship who take on the role of the child, and often will be completely cared for by their daddy or mommy.
There is a lot more freedom in this particular role, as the little can decide how old their character is, what kind of child they are, and how they might act. When exploring this personality, littles are often referred to as being in “little space”.
Exploring little space is a chance to be completely free and fully immerse yourself in the roleplay. Any considerations of your usual adult life are put to one side, and if necessary taken care of by your daddy or mommy. Instead you can follow any desires that come into your head, whether it’s playing with toy dolls or cars, coloring or making art, or simple enjoying plenty of hugs and love from your daddy or mommy!
What is a caregiver?
Caregivers are another kind of authority figure in DDLG relationships. Sometimes this role will be shortened to CG.
In the vast majority of DDLG relationships, the caregiver will naturally be the person taking on the role of daddy or mommy. However, at times, other parties may temporarily take over the role of caregiver, much like a babysitter would with a real child. You might even want to explore DDLG in a different way, so rather than having a daddy or mommy as an authority figure, you simply have a caregiver instead.
Most of the time, the role of caregiver will be seen as the one primarily in control of the relationship. So you might wonder, what does this person get out of DDLG? Unlike most BDSM roleplay, it’s a little more complicated.
As the majority of the roleplay is focused on facilitating the little’s exploration of their character, they actually hold a lot more power than a submissive usually will. They are able to change and direct the roleplay as they see fit, while still remaining within the rules laid out by their caregiver.
The caregiver is also rewarded much more than a traditional dom. Rather than simply taking pleasure in being able to inflict their will on their partner, they get to be lavished with attention too! The little will be thankful for the care they receive, and may want their caregiver to play with them and become much more intimately involved in the roleplay.
It’s a team effort, and caring for others can be a greatly rewarding experience. We all have it built into our nature to care for others, and it simply feels good!
How common is DDLG?
When you first become aware of DDLG, it’s likely something you will never have heard of before. Yet these relationships are more common than most of us realise, and more and more people are beginning to explore and enjoy these unique scenarios as the years go by.
While it’s debatable whether or not the people who take part in DDLG suffer from psychological issues related to their upbringing, it’s something that is brought up a lot. Those who had difficult childhoods or come from homes where one parent wasn’t present can be more likely to try DDLG. These relationships let people explore things that weren’t present in their younger years, and may even help them deal with issues that were caused during their upbringing.
Even when this isn’t the case though, plenty of people enjoy DDLG! It’s not that surprising when you consider the things many of us enjoy doing in our spare times. Plenty of us collect stuffed toys, play video games, or even enjoy watching cartoons and movies aimed at children. These things give us a glimpse back into our childhood, and are something we often lose as we grow up.
The main difference is simply that DDLG is a much more involved and intense scenario. It’s also more social, as rather than keeping the enjoyment of childish things to ourselves, we share them with a partner who gets to experience them as our parents once did.
Despite becoming increasingly more common, the idea of acting like a child or parent can be difficult for some people to accept. Many DDLG couples are looked down on by others, even their friends and family. So often this roleplay is kept behind closed doors, and not discussed as openly. This leads to the idea that it’s not very common, and not many people do it.
Why do people enjoy DDLG?
DDLG can be a very freeing thing to try. As the little, you can do things that you might not be as confident with your adult life. Even simple things like having stuffed toys, doing puzzles or playing children’s games, role playing and enjoying make believe like a child, or simply having the routine and structure associated with the life of a child.
It’s not all for the person playing the little though! Playing the role of a daddy or mommy can also be very enjoyable. They will often treat their little like a princess or prince, and receive lots of attention and love from them in return. Being in a position of power can also be something the adult character enjoys, as they are able to control the lives of the little, and also administer punishments if they misbehave.
Thanks to the unusual and somewhat uncommon nature of DDLG relationships, there may be a lot of terms used when describing it that you aren’t completely familiar with. Detailed below are common terms used in DDLG relationships, and what they mean.
- DDLG: Daddy Dom, Little Girl
- DDLB: Daddy Dom, Little Boy
- MDLG: Mommy Dom, Little Girl
- MDLB: Mommy Dom, Little Boy
- BDSM: Bondage, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. BDSM tends to be a catch all term that encompasses a massive variety of sexual fetishes and practises.
- Kink or Fetish: Kinks and fetishes are things that people enjoy and find attractive or sexually stimulating. These can be massively varied, such as outfits, behaviours, places or even objects.
- Scene: The word scene is commonly used by those in the BDSM community to describe the scenario you are currently enacted. This can be a roleplay scene, or may simply be a scene which involves some particular sexual activity. Whatever position participants are in during the scene remains in the scene, and afterwards everything should be able to return to normal as quickly as possible.
- Aftercare: Aftercare is a term used to describe anything you do after you finish a scene. This main purpose of this is to help the people involved in the scene wind down, deal with any emotions that may have come up, and return to normal.
- Safe Word: A safe word is an important part of any scene. This word, when spoken, immediately stops all activity that is currently happening. It can be used when something goes too far, and you aren’t completely comfortable with it. The safe word should always be a word or phrase that isn’t likely to be spoken during your scene, for example, aubergine.
- Contract: Contracts are often laid out before any kind of BDSM relationship begins. They explain what the relationship will involve, what activities will happen, any rules and punishments the submissive will receive if they break these rules, and anything that isn’t allowed.
- Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC): SSC is a phrase used throughout the BDSM community to describe the ideal type of relationship. Everything done should be safe for all parties involved, cause no psychological trauma, and be agreed to by everyone involved.
- Little: The little is the person in a DDLG relationship who takes on the role of the child.
- Middle: A middle is similar to a little, and describes the person who takes on the child’s role. However, middles tend to be older, and explore the role of a teenager.
- CG (Caregiver): The caregiver is the person who takes responsibility for the person acting as a little or middle. They need to ensure the safety of their partner, and also take on the responsibility of caring for them, providing for them, and if necessary, punishing them.
- Daddy/Daddy dom: A male person taking on the parental role in a DDLG relationship.
- Mommy/Mommy dom: A female person taking on the parental role in a DDLG relationship.
- Little Space: The state of mind a person enters when they begin roleplaying as a little. Little space can be very freeing, but also leave you very vulnerable. While in little space, a person is free to explore their feelings and role however they choose, and shouldn’t be subject to any judgement from others.
- Headspace: Headspace is similar to little space, in that it is a frame of mind a person enters when taking on a role. Headspace is more general, and can be used to describe the mind frame of people enjoying many kinds of BDSM scene.
- Little Age: The age the person roleplaying as a little decides to be.
- Ageplay: Enjoying the exploration of roles which have a different age to your real age.
- Punishment: An important part of many BDSM relationships. Punishments are given to a submissive partner if they break the rules laid out by their dominant, or disobey their instructions.
- Rules: Many BDSM relationships will have a set of rules that the submissive partner must follow. These can cover anything from behaviours that are acceptable, to outfits the submissive must wear.
There are also many words or phrases that a little may use which are more fitting with their character. These are similar to the words a small child may use to describe things, such as:
- Nom noms: Food or a meal.
- Paci/Binkie: A pacifier or dummy.
- Blankies: Blankets.
- Jammies: Pyjamas/PJs.
- Stuffies: A stuffed toy
- Sippy: Sippy cups designed to stop drinks from spilling.
While these are just some examples of phrases that you might use, you shouldn’t feel forced to use these or any at all! It’s completely up to you what shape your DDLG vocabulary takes.
While the very name might suggest that DDLG can only be explored by those in a relationship, many people enjoy trying it out on their own. Generally, it will be easier to be a little on your own, as many of the aspects of the daddy or mommy role don’t really work without a little to care for.
These solo littles can still happily explore many of the aspects of play and freedom enjoyed by those in coupled relationships. Examples include playing with toys, drawing and painting, early bedtimes, special plates and cups, or children’s games and activities.
If you think DDLG might be for you, but aren’t ready to make a full commitment yet with a partner, then exploring DDLG solo can be a great way to test things out. If you enjoy it, then you can start looking for a partner to take your roleplay to the next level.
DDLG: Fun For All Ages
We’ve covered an awful lot here, and you might be pretty exhausted by this point. However this is only the tip of the iceberg, and there’s a lot more to DDLG than just the basics.
When you feel ready to learn more, feel free to check out some of our other articles where we dive even deeper into this interesting and rewarding style of BDSM.