How, When, Why: Remote Control Vibrators Guide

Some say there’s only one reason we, as a species, have made any technological advances. That reason is to spice up our sex lives and get as freaky with it as we can! In the 1980s, when Sir Tim Berners-Lee pitched his idea for the World Wide Web, the suits were skeptical. Sure, it’s useful to access information and talk to people from across the world, but can you make them cum?

Well, it took us a bit to get there, but now, we finally can! Today, thanks to remote-controlled vibrators, we don’t have to be in the same room, country, or continent to have fun with our fella or girl. All you need is a Wi-Fi connection — just make sure it’s a stable one; you don’t want it to cut out right before you’re about to sing sweet praises! So what are these remote control vibrators, and how do they work?

What Are They?

If you look at their name (remote-controlled vibrators), this might come as a bit of a shock to you. They are vibrators that you can control remotely! That’s a plot twist nobody expected to see. Depending on what type of toy you’ve bought, it can come with a dedicated remote. You use this remote (wireless or with a cord) to change the settings of your vibrator. That way, you can adjust its speed or make it thrust or heat up (if it’s an option) without having to take the thing out. We’ve all been there; just as about you’re to reach the highest heights, you want to go for a more powerful vibration. What happens is that you start rummaging around down there looking for the right button. It might not kill the vibe entirely, but it will disrupt the flow.

With a remote vibrator, you can get rid of that inconvenience and do it by pressing a button that’s already sitting patiently in the palm of your hand. Alternatively, if there’s no remote, you can pair it up with an app on your phone (such as the Vibease app) and control your bad boy from there. Let’s take a look at what different types of these vibrators there are.


As with normal vibrator buddies, remote control vibrators come in different shapes and sizes. There are vibrators for women (designed to give both G-spot and clitoral stimulation), for men, as well as couples’ vibrators. As far as toys go, there are your classic vibrating dildos and butt plugs, alongside bullet vibrators and love eggs. Obviously, as always, different sex toys stimulate differently. For instance, an egg vibrator doesn’t do the same thing that a butt plug does. So your choice on the matter will depend on what you’re into and how you want to get yourself off.

However, we’re not here to talk about the difference in stimulation between various remote control sex toys. When you buy a toy, just make sure that you’re happy with the shape (and the dimensions) of it and that it’s made of body-safe materials.

We’ll talk about different types of remote vibrators in the sense of how you use and apply them, starting with the least remote of them all.


Remember the (good) old days of Sony Ericsson mobile phones, where you used Infrared to transfer songs (and those videos) from one device to another? Well, we’ve moved quite a long way since then, but that doesn’t mean there’s no use for Infrared technology today. Sure, you can say that it is applied in night-vision goggles so that you could see heat, but that’s a complete waste of it. Oohh, I can see in the dark, I’m mommy’s brave little soldier. Shut up; no-one cares — we wanna cum!

There are vibrators that use Infrared to access their settings remotely. Obviously, it’s not the best option around, but it still does the trick. You don’t have to be in touch with your dildo via an Infrared port as you used to in the mid-2000s. But it still has to be quite near your toy (you kinda got to point at it from close). That means it’s probably best to use them when you’re flying solo. It sort of defeats the purpose of it, and you can struggle to point at the right spot for a long time. As is the case with the phones, Bluetooth has joined the scene and is a much more convenient option.


A Bluetooth vibrator is still not considered a long-distance vibrator. However, it’s a much better choice than the previous one. Your vibrator connects to the remote via Bluetooth, and you get to switch up between different vibration modes this way. However, you still need to be in the same room where the remote is. Luckily, the distance between the two connected parties can be much higher, as you can sit up to 45 feet (13.7 meters) apart. Obviously, don’t take the previous sentence literally; it doesn’t have to be the same room, but you get the idea.

With these wireless vibrators, you can play with yourself (holding the remote in your hand), or you can pass it to your partner. Obviously, it’s not a long-distance thing, but you can use it as an excellent addition to your foreplay. There’s something mesmerizing about handing over control of your orgasm to someone else (namely, your partner). It brings “the unexpected” to the table, and it’s a perfect way to keep things fresh with an element of a surprise.

Bluetooth, as wireless technology, is still essential even when it comes to app-paired vibrators, which we’ll talk about below.


Here’s where things (can) get freaky and creative. Internet-enabled vibrators can work in two ways. The less fun one is a Wi-Fi vibrator that uses the same internet connection as your remote. That way, you use the local area network (LAN) to connect the two items, and it pretty much works the same as Bluetooth.

However, the more popular (and the better) one uses the internet the way God intended it. All you need is internet connection, and you can pair up your remote and your toy; it doesn’t have to be the same connection. Because of that, you can place the toy inside you, and your partner can bring the remote (or the other way round) on their trip to a different country. They can then use their remote (as long as they have internet connection), and they can pleasure you while being thousands of miles away. If you pair that up with a Skype call and are into having video sex, it’ll really change things for the better.

As you’ve probably already imagined, this toy opens the doors to many kinky scenarios. Say you’re at your job, or you’re having dinner at a restaurant. With one click of a button, your partner can make your day way more interesting, even if they’re not nearby. Imagine sitting at work, counting minutes to five, and then, all of a sudden, it starts pulsating down there. Your day would get a whole new twist to it! Just make sure you set some rules; you don’t want to end up on r/holdthemoan while having a meeting with your boss!

App Paired

App-controlled vibrators are perhaps the spiciest ones in the whole “remote control vibrators” world. As their name suggests, you use an iPhone or Android app to start your toy. Essentially, it’s an internet-enabled toy, but with whole lotta settings and twists on top. The way it works is that two phones connect via the internet by using the same app. Then, your phone app pairs up with your sex toy via Bluetooth.

So while your personal phone needs to be nearby, your partner can be as far away as they please. For instance, if your relationship has just become a long-distance one, and you’re wondering how you’re gonna keep it interesting, here’s your solution. As we’ve already mentioned, you can mix it up with a video call, and your partner can make you orgasm even when they’re not around. Don’t worry; there’s something in it for them as well! They’ll find the very fact that they can still make you cum arousing. It’s extremely satisfying to know that you’ve made your partner look like they’re in a gospel church, to put it that way.

Obviously, this kind of play is not just for people who live apart. If you’re not into being naughty in public, it’s probably because you’ve never tried it. By using these toys, you (or your partner) can stimulate yourself without making it evident to the people around you. The fact that it’s taboo and that you’ll feel like doing something wrong just adds to the fun!

App Usage

These apps themselves will be a welcome addition to your sex life on their own. You’ll find out that there are options you’ve previously thought impossible. Moreover, additional features of these apps include user-submitted programs. By using these, you can try out something that other people recommend and see how it works for you.

If you choose to do so, the app can record your session data. Your phone will know how long your rounds usually last, what vibration patterns you enjoy the most, and so on. As a result, the app can come up with a customized vibration program that you can just turn on and leave the rest to your phone. Now, you can change your vibrator’s settings without touching the vibrator yourself. Not only that, but you can also tell your phone to do it for you in the way that you like it best. Come on, how neat is that?!

Wearable Vibrators

Some of these remote control toys are specifically designed for public stunts. You wear them inconspicuously as you go about your day doing your general business. After a while, you’ll get used to them and won’t even know they’re there until they start buzzing. Most of these toys, such as Lovense Lush, are internet-enabled or app-paired. That means you can have discreet public fun as they produce little to no sound, which makes them a secret just for you and your partner. Of course, the way you go about it is up to you and your preferences. If you’re just starting out, you should set a few ground rules so that you don’t get into trouble and save yourself from an embarrassing moment. Sure, you’re meant to push some boundaries, but some you shouldn’t mess with.

Another way these wearables work is that they don’t only react to app commands. Of course, that can still be a thing, but they can come with various sensors, most notably sound ones. With these, your toy can react to, say, the music you’re listening to. It’ll vibrate in line with the beat of your favorite songs. Imagine going to a concert of your favorite band with one of these and singing a duet with your pussy.

Pros and Cons

We’ve dealt with all the various types of these remote-controlled vibrators and how you can sync them up. Now, let’s check out whether you should get one in the first place and why you should do it. The fact that they’re remotely controlled provides you with the convenience that you can’t replace otherwise; however, there are some drawbacks to them.


  • Adjusting the settings
  • A couples’ activity
  • New experiences
  • Perfect for public and long-distance plays


  • Issues with signal
  • Potential privacy concerns
  • Their size


The best thing about them is the most obvious one. You can adjust the settings of your toy without having to press the buttons on it. As a result, you can change the speed of the vibrations, as well as turn on and off any additional features your toy might have. If your dildo is just not doing the thing you want or not hitting the right spot, you can switch it up without having to put everything to a halt. It’s a major mood-killer to take out your toy and mess about with the buttons for minutes while your nether regions are going dry.

Additionally, although you can use them on your own, they’re a fantastic way to enhance the number of sex activities you share with your partner. The best way to keep a relationship happy is to try out new things, and when these also include an orgasm, it’s a win-win! You can hand over the control (or receive it) of your orgasm as easily as letting someone else take it. It’s a type of power play, and it’ll be more exciting for both of you. Even if it doesn’t end up being your favorite thing, you’ve still tried out something new.

Finally, you can experience something different, thanks to these bad boys. They are usually made to be discreet. That’s why you can have some public fun without anyone around you noticing. Remember — your restaurant neighbors haven’t consented to your fun, so the fact that you’re doing something naughty is half the ecstasy.

If your partner is not your roommate, they can make you cum from afar. Alternatively, just the thought of having an orgasm at work while nobody else knows about it is so thrilling. And now you can do it too!


Perhaps the biggest problem with these remote control vibrators is the signal issues you might (and probably will) come across. Imagine sliding the joker in, getting ready for having fun. You’ve gone through the sexy talk, and now, you’re fully in the mood. All of that, just for the remote to come up with a connection problem. Or, even worse, right in the middle of it (or by the end of it), you hear your partner saying, “hold on, honey, I have to reconnect.” That’s a bummer and a half!

As you’ve probably experienced with other remote devices, this, sadly, happens not too rarely. There are a plethora of reasons for it — whether Bluetooth can’t send information consistently enough or the Wi-Fi signal is weak, the disappointment doesn’t get any better. Whatever it is, it can kill the mood. Looking on the bright side, as time passes and these technologies improve, connection issues will soon be a thing of the past.

Remember when we said apps could record your sessions to come up with a customized program? Well, they need to store your data somewhere to be able to do that. However, these sex toy companies are not IT firms. Most of them don’t know and/or can’t set up their IT system in such a way to ensure maximum safety and security from cyberattacks. Obviously, the question is: even if there is a breach, what can a hacker do with your masturbating pattern? In the end, you shouldn’t be too worried about it.

Finally, the last con comes to your personal preference, so it might not be a con at all. Many of these vibrators are designed to be discreet and silent. However, if you’re a bit of a size queen, you might have trouble finding the right one.

Using Them During Sex

Most people believe that these types of toys are “in-public” vibrators that you can use on the hush-hush while outdoors. And for the most part, they aren’t wrong. But that isn’t to say that that’s their only purpose and only possible way of use. You can still utilize them during sex with your partner, and it will spice up the interaction. Just as you would use a normal dildo or other toys, you use these ones as well. The best thing about them is that they’re easy to incorporate into your sex lives. Say that your male partner is DPing you with a dildo and his skin flute. He can now easily sync up the speed of the two. As he’s thrusting harder or slower, he can change the speed of the dildo by conveniently using the app. You’ll find yourself on a rollercoaster of a ride!

Additionally, let’s say you’re using one of those “paperclip” dildos that stimulate both your clit and your G-spot. While it’s in place, your friend on top of you can enhance the experience. The vibrating dildo will also stimulate his shaft to make it fun for both of you! Another idea is to use two of these buddies. Let’s say you’re wearing vibrating panties while your partner shoves a p-spot dildo in his ass. Each holds the remote for the other one’s toy, and you can have a vibrating Mexican standoff to get you into the mood.

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