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BDSM sex play is a perfect way to refresh and spice up your sex life. The best way to set your foot in this kinky scene is to try out some adult toys and role-playing. And since collaring is an essential part of the bondage and role-playing culture, you should give it a go.
Collars and BDSM
Collars are very important for BDSM couples and bear special meaning for their relationship. Submissive collars represent the symbol of devotion, effort, and loyalty. Putting them on and off should not be taken lightly because they are not just a piece of jewelry.
Wearing a slave collar means that you are marked as a submissive in the BDSM relationship. So, when the dominant partner gives you one, you become their slave. Once you are collared, you must serve and obey your dom. Your only task is to listen and keep them pleased.
In some BDSM scenarios, the slave must do something to earn their submissive neck attire. The process of gaining one is different for each couple. Sometimes, doms want to reward their partner for being great subs. In other cases, it can take years of patience and commitment to the relationship on all levels to become worthy of a submissive collar.
For some couples, giving and receiving a collar is as significant as being given an engagement ring. They believe that the collar is a symbol of eternal devotion. So, they officiate their BDSM partnership by holding ceremonies where the dom solemnly collars the sub. Since this kinky ritual emulates the wedding ceremony, some BDSM couples invite their friends or host a party for this occasion.
However, there isn’t a strict guideline on how a collaring ceremony should be held nor planned. The partners are free to set the tone and mood of the event. Also, they can limit their guest list to members of the BDSM community, or it can be just a private event for the BDSM couple.
Anyway, some people hate giving this heteronormative meaning to the collaring ceremony. They just think of it as a beautiful way to honor devotion and commitment between BDSM partners.
Different Kinds of Collars
Whether you are new to the BDSM sex game or a seasoned part of the scene, there are a plethora of collars on offer in the market. Therefore, you can pick and choose until you find the one that would be perfect for subjecting your sub.
But, before you choose the type suitable for your bottom, you need to think about what would collaring your significant one mean for you, them, and your BDSM relationship.
So Many Options
Normally, wearing a BDSM collar implies that partners want others to know that the collared individual is submissive. In other words, a BDSM accessory around someone’s neck means that the bottom is in a relationship with a dom, and not available to others. Also, some kinds of collars are worn to improve subs posture while other kinds can be used in role-playing.
If you notice that a sub is wearing a collar with a lock, you should know that their dom has a key. This type of collar symbolizes a transfer of power from the submissive to the master holding the key.
Also, some bottoms do not wear their collars all the time. Most people opt for rocking their submissive neck attire at home or BDSM events. These days, collars for women are a common fashion accessory. Unfortunately, men cannot get away unnoticed while wearing one.
If you are testing if your partner is fit to become your sub, you should definitely use a consideration collar. That is the best way to decide if you want to get serious with your potential sub.
When the trial period is over, most of the dominant partners offer their bottoms a training collar to teach them the future dynamics of the BDSM sex play. After this, the subs can work towards getting a permanent or protection one.
Submissive neck attire can come with locks, and the dom is the key holder. Furthermore, some hardcore BDSM couples choose steel collars without a lock that can be taken off only by cutting the steel.
Please note that lockable submissive collars and shock steel collars are not recommended for BDSM newbies. If you are new, maybe you should start with some lighter, vanilla types, that is, something soft and manageable.
Anyhow, some couples that have 24/7 dom-sub relationships, choose bedazzled collars that resemble ordinary pieces of jewelry at first glance. On the other hand, some couples find it arousing to switch up the roles. In that case, joint, leather collaring is also an option. In this scenario, BDSM couples honor mutual devotion and appreciation of their special bond.
How to Buy a Perfect Collar?
Since necks are sensitive and vulnerable parts of our bodies, you should carefully consider the type of collar you will wear. Here is the criteria you should take into account when you go shopping for this BDSM neck attire:
- Choose the thickness of the collar. Thinner ones made of cotton or lace are more comfortable.
- Choose an O-ring or D-ring collar if you plan to attach a leash to it, but make sure it does not irritate your skin.
- Find the collar fastener that suits you best.
- Find the collar that fits your neck. BDSM collars are made to fit everyone, but consider buying the custom made one.
If you are looking to include BDSM collars in your sex life and spice it up, we have good news. There are many styles that you can buy and enjoy on the market.
After you decide which partner is dominant and which one is submissive, you can ponder the design of the collar that will work for you and your BDSM sex play. The design of the collar is a matter of individual choice. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable while wearing one and that it fits you like a glove.
We give you the ultimate list of different styles of BDSM collars:
- Dog collars are the most popular ones. Usually made of leather adorned with clasps, spikes, or metal loops, dog collars are a BDSM classic.
- Toy hybrids. Some submissive collars come paired with other sex toys. So, you can find a collar with O-ring or ball gag, or some form of restraints as with bondage collars.
- Eternity collars got their name because you cannot see a clasp or attachment on them. So, they look like a silver ring around your neck. These collars are useful when you want to keep your BDSM persona a secret. Everyone is going to think that eternity collars are a neat piece of jewelry.
- “Collar” collars look like you cut off the collar of the shirt and put a ring or a leash on it.
- Some jewelry resembles kinky BDSM neck attire. Many people opt for wearing ordinary pieces of jewelry as submissive collars to avoid unwanted attention.
BDSM Collar Meanings
There is an endless list of interpretations of what a collar should signify. While some BDSM partners think of it as a fun accessory they can use in a sex play, others consider collars as significant as wedding rings.
This everlasting dispute aside, collars, in essence, symbolize different levels of training, devotion, and submission in BDSM relationships.
If you are new to the BDSM scene, you should know that a person wearing a collar is either marked as submissive one in the relationship or already owned by a dominant. So, please never try to get your way with a collared sub. This unthoughtful gesture might be considered a serious breach of the so-called collar etiquette in the BDSM community. The best way to initiate contact with a collared sub is to ask their dom for permission.
Consideration collar is probably the first one any potential sub can get. Also, if you are setting foot in the BDSM scene, and a potential dom honors you with this collar, it does not mean that you have instantly become their sub. Please note that you are just placed under consideration to be their slave or bottom. Once you and your master decide to take your relationship to the next level, you will receive a training collar. In case things do not work out, your dom can simply remove the consideration collar from your neck and set you free. Then, you can try finding a master who is cut out for you.
Please beware that a locking buck shouldn’t be used at this level of partnering in the BDSM sex play. Go for a simple-designed submissive collar to put your potential fellow kinkster to the test.
Most of the BDSM partners shift to the training collar afterward. It helps them determine that they are the right fit for each other. Some couples do not do consideration collars and use training ones right off the bat. So, there is no rule in this practice. You can just follow your needs and wishes.
Training collars are usually worn by slaves or bottoms trained to be submissives. These collars can help beginners understand their slavelike position in the BDSM game. The collared partner is to subject to and obey their master’s wishes and commands. That is, the keyholder is in total control of their relationship. They can humiliate, objectify, and show ownership over their bottoms as they please. Once the dom feels like the training period should end, and the slave fulfills all of their requirements, they can present them with a new type of collar. The next BDSM collar should symbolize the progress in the D-S relationship.
Permanent collar means that you are in the BDSM partnership for good. Many couples take permanent or ceremonial collars very seriously. These can come with more intricate locking mechanisms. Masters can decide if, when, and where the subs can remove the permanent collar. Some partners may agree that it can be taken off for safety, privacy, or other reasons. But, the act of collar removal usually symbolizes the fact that your BDSM relationship has come to an end.
It is important to emphasize that you should discuss the meaning and usage of a permanent collar with your partner. Find out how your partner feels about being the wearer and what this honor entails and means to them.
Seeing a person wearing a BDSM collar should be a clear signal that this sub already belongs to a dom or a master. Approaching a collared person behind the back of their dom is considered disrespectful and a breach of collar etiquette.
The main difference between a slave, bottom, or sub wearing a protection collar and the one wearing a training or consideration collar is that it does not entail an equal level of responsibility. Some people wear protection collars to protect themselves from single kinksters or doms. Mentors often recommend BDSM beginners to wear protection collars on their first BDSM event to safe proof their first encounters.
On another note, some polyamorous partners wear protection collars to point out their relationship with others.
Day collar resembles a simple piece of jewelry. They serve as a fancy reminder who is dominant and who is submissive in your relationship. A day collar normally looks like a vanilla type choker made of leather or PVC. It is great if you do not want to attract the unwanted attention of nosy people.
You do not have to flash your D-S relationship with BDSM accessories. You and your partner must know the true meaning and value of the day collar you use. It symbolizes your kinky union, and you can hide it away from curious eyes. Similarly, some partners chose an even more discreet type of day collar. That is, they wear it discreetly on their wrists or ankles.
Play collars are very popular in the BDSM scene. Many kinksters wear them while role-playing a sexy scene with their partner, or they use it as a hot accessory when hitting the club or a BDSM party.
Anyhow, you can use play collars only occasionally. Most people use them to prepare for their sex games and get themselves in the mood for a BDSM experience. Once your master puts a play collar around your neck, you can mentally prepare for what’s to come.
On another note, some couples use play collars to emphasize their power-exchange relationship.
Play collars usually do not have a special meaning. They can come as dog collars, leather or ribbon type ones.
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