Choosing the Perfect Strapon for Anal Penetration and Assplay

Choosing a strap-on should always be a matter of you and your partner's personal preference.

In general, you should always look for one that balances comfort with sturdiness and stability, of course, but most strap-on enthusiasts will find that they gravitate towards a particular harness style, or enjoy a particular dildo size, look or feel, or have a distinct opinion on the matter of O-rings vs. vacuum-locks for attaching the two parts together.

However, if you intend to purchase a strap-on to be used primarily to penetrate you or your partner anally, there are a number of factors which you need to consider - and, unfortunately, sometimes they're not just "what feels best" or "what looks sexiest".

Even if you already own a strap-on - or several! - which you have used for vaginal penetration, oral stimulation or any type of non-penetrative sex act, there is a possibility that your existing setup may not be suitable for an intense session of assplay - or "butt stuff," as it's often colloquially known.

Luckily, there is no need to despair!

Rather than merely trusting that any previously owned strap-on apparatus will be compatible with your partner's tight asshole, you can read through this simple, thorough, informative guide to check whether or not it will work.

And, if it turns out that it doesn't, well, as they say, forewarned is forearmed - this guide will save you the time, money and frustration involved with repairing a cracked dildo or a torn harness.

Plus, if you do end up needing to purchase a brand new strap-on for anal penetration, our catalog is filled to the brim with erotically enticing options!

After all, as us kink enthusiasts here at Lovegasm always say, there's no such thing as owning too many sexy toys which can keep yours and your partner's bedroom life deliciously spicy!

​But Wait - Why Do I Need Special Toys For Assplay, Anyway?

Well, simply put, the answer to this question is "because the anus and the vagina are two significantly different body parts, each with their own special needs and considerations."

For example, most vaginas will naturally produce their own lubrication, allowing smooth, pain-free penetration to occur without the need for any synthetic liquid assistance.

The anus, unfortunately, does not lubricate itself, and a certified sexual lubricant should always be used - dry penetration is not only extremely uncomfortable and not at all pleasurable, but it can lead to long-term injuries or complications such as tearing of the anal walls.

In addition, the vagina is naturally designed to stretch to an extremely large size - after all, babies have to come out of there, and most babies' heads are larger and wider than the average dildo or plug!

The anus, on the other hand, is not designed to accommodate anything larger than a particularly bulky piece of feces, which means that a toy with a much smaller circumference can produce the same amount of pleasurable stretching that it might take a much bigger simulated penis to achieve in the vagina.

Lastly, the location of the two pleasurable "hot buttons" buried within each hole - the G-spot for the vagina and the prostate or P-spot for the (male) anus - are slightly different, meaning that dildos of different shapes will be needed to reach and stimulate them properly.

​A Dildo Fit For The Ass

In general, our advice when selecting a dildo suited for assplay - especially if you and your partner are new to anal penetration, and have never had more than a finger up there before - is to stick with something small, short, narrow and smooth with a slightly curved shape over one which is completely straight.

In this section, we'll go over each of those points in detail in order to better explain why they are the best options available to novices who want to give "butt stuff" a try.

  • Small - If you show up in the bedroom with a thick, veiny dildo the size of your forearm with fist-sized balls dangling down, you're more than likely to scare your partner away rather than help him get into the mood. It's quite possible that your planned assplay session will never even so much as get started because your partner will be too busy staring wide-eyed at the monstrosity you've introduced into the bedroom.

    A smaller, more realistically sized dildo will leave both you and your partner feeling comfortable and dispel any nervousness that a larger toy might have otherwise provoked

  • Short - Plunging too deeply into your partner's anus during your very first anal penetration session could easily lead to pain, discomfort, or even tearing or scraping of important internal areas of his body. We feel like it's especially important to encourage the purchase of a shorter dildo because, in recent years, the impossible standards created by pornography have caused toys to grow larger and larger and therefore less and less realistic.

    Remember, the actual "average" male penis is only around 5 inches long! A 5-6 inch dildo - or perhaps even a shorter one - will be plenty sufficient to provide him with a pleasurable experience and stimulate his prostate enough to give him a leg-shaking, mind-bending orgasm!

  • Narrow - As we stated in the section above, the anus does not naturally stretch as much as the vagina. Sure, with enough persistence and practice - not to mention a LOT of preparation in the form of stretching the asshole open with your fingers - it can fit a thick, wide dildo inside it.

    But that's something to eventually work up to if you so desire, not a place to start. You'll be surprised how thin and narrow of a dildo will easily be able to produce that pleasurable stretching sensation which is one of the major goals of ass play.

    So when selecting the thickness of a starter anal dildo, think "finger" rather than "forearm," and both you and your partner will have a much better time in the bedroom!

  • Smooth - Today, dildos come in a wide variety of textures. Some are smooth, some are rough, some feature add-ons which allow them to shake or vibrate, and some are even designed to be as realistic as possible with the addition of simulated veins, bumps, ridges or pubic hair. However, like a larger size, these elements can often come across as extremely intimidating to someone who is preparing to be anally penetrated for the first time.

    A smooth dildo will go in easier and feel more comfortable, as well as likely not contributing further to the nervousness or either participating party. In regards to materials, silicone is an excellent choice for your first anal dildo as its smooth, warm, slightly springy texture is often described as "as close as you can get to real human flesh" and it is not considered to look or feel as cold, sterile and intimidating as other dildo materials such as hard plastic, glass and especially stainless steel.

  • Slightly curved - A dildo with a slight curve to it is likely to be more effective at finding and stimulating the prostate than one which is completely straight. Prostate stimulation will likely be the most pleasurable part of the experience for a man being penetrated - in fact, many "bottoms" describe the moment when the dildo first brushes against their prostate as the instant when the entire experience shifts from painful to pleasurable.

    If you are going to be taking the "top" role and are worried about your ability to quickly and efficiently locate your partner's prostate, a slightly curved dildo is likely to make your task significantly easier. (Nowadays, most dildos sold online, such as those found in our catalog, tend to advertise any type of stimulation, including prostate, for which they are specifically designed)

Of course, just because you may choose to follow the specifications we listed above when purchasing your first anal penetration dildo, does not mean you will always be beholden to that list.

Once you and your partner have become more comfortable with anal penetration, you can feel free to explore by gradually moving up to larger, thicker dildos with unique shapes and more exotic appearances.

With time, practice and proper relaxation - not to mention lots of stretching and lubricant! - most assholes can be made able to accept even the largest, thickest dildos with only minimal discomfort.

If that is something which interests you and your partner, rest assured - it is a totally reasonable and achievable goal!

​A Harness To Withstand The Intensity

Naturally, when it comes to strap-ons, the dildo is only half of the elements which you must take into consideration when making your purchase.

There is also, of course, the harness, which is used to attach the dildo to the wearer's body.

If you are uncomfortable with the idea of wearing a harness and wish to engage in anal penetration without utilizing one, consider checking out a strapless strap-on. We discuss this type of toy in general here and specifically cover tips for using them in anal play here.

The harness needs to be comfortable enough for the wearer but also sturdy enough that the dildo will not slip out in the middle of penetration.

As with dildos, a wide variety of harness styles, sizes and materials exist.

Luckily, a much wider range of harnesses are compatible with anal play, especially when compared to the rather specific list of rules for dildos which we went over in the previous section.

In general, your major considerations when selecting a harness for anal penetration are going to be "how stable does it keep the dildo" and "is it sturdy enough to stand up to a more intense penetration experience than is usually encountered vaginally".

Unlike the vagina, the anal area of both men and women features an extremely strong muscle called a "sphincter," which performs the important duty of keeping feces inside the body until it is time for it to be released.

Because of this, the anal sphincter's natural tendency is to perform the movements associated with its primary job - often described as a "clenching" or "grasping" feeling.

This means that, if not properly stretched and relaxed beforehand (and sometimes even if it has been, especially if the person being penetrated feels nervous) the anal sphincter can clamp down on and "pull" on the dildo - in some cases, even causing it to detach from the harness entirely.

Of course, feeling your dildo and harness suddenly separate mid-thrust is definitely considered to be a major mood killer.

You have to stop penetration, disengage from your sexy atmosphere, and re-attach the dildo and harness before you can proceed once again.

Not to mention, it's important to make sure that your partner's anus was not damaged or torn in any way from the rough activity.

It will take several minutes at least before you are ready to get back to pegging - and that's assuming that both of you have managed to stay in the mood through all of this.

In conclusion, the best type of harness for anal penetration and pegging is one that will keep the dildo firmly attached even through the strongest sphincter's attempts to grip, grab and pull.

That being said, we typically recommend choosing a strap-style harness over a lingerie-style one if you are looking for something specifically designed for anal penetration.

While lingerie-style harnesses (which tend to resemble a pair of ordinary underwear with a hole and sewn in O-ring in the front for dildo insertion) look and feel sexy and are extremely easy to put on and wear, they are unfortunately often not sturdy enough and do not possess the necessary strength to hold up to intense anal penetration.

Underwear is not particularly supportive, and most designs feature a single O-ring as the only thing supporting the dildo, meaning that it is much harder to keep it steady and controlled during intercourse.

In addition, rough thrusting can cause the elastic bands supporting the waist and leg holes of the harness to quickly lose their elasticity, which can result in both the dildo sagging and the harness hanging too low on the wearer's hips for successful penetration to occur.

Luckily, strap-style harnesses are much stronger and more supportive, with both the two strap (or "thong") model and the three strap (or "jockstrap") model easily able to handle regular anal penetration sessions.

Instead of an elastic band, this design supports the waist (and, in the case of the three strap harness, both upper thighs) with straps made either from leather or from thick synthetic materials such as nylon.

Any "stretchy" or elastic materials should be avoided, as well as those which are too flimsy to provide support, such as cotton or other lightweight natural fabrics.

Most strap-style harnesses feature buckles or rings which allow the wearer to tighten each strap individually, meaning that you can pull them a little tighter before engaging in pegging to give yourself that little bit of extra support.

Typically, the thicker the strap, the more support it provides, although if the straps are made from a properly supportive material, thickness may not need to be a major concern.

Whether you choose a two-strap or three-strap harness should be a matter of personal preference, as both designs will work perfectly fine for pegging.

A two-strap harness features a strap which runs between the legs and over the genital area, which some people find comfortable (and even enjoyable, as the friction from their thrusting movements allows the strap to rub against and stimulate the sensitive genitals) while others find it irritating, uncomfortable and mood-ruining.

Three-strap harnesses opt for wrapping a strap around each of the wearer's upper thighs, leaving the genitals uncovered - both meaning that that area will not be stimulated by your harness and that your partner will have unencumbered access to it throughout penetration.

If you aren't sure which type of harness is best for you, we recommend giving both a try - many people will even find that they enjoy both, and will happily add multiple copies of each design to their ever-growing collection!

Another factor which you should consider when purchasing a harness for anal play is what sort of apparatus is used to connect the two elements of your strap-on - the harness and the dildo - to one another.

Nowadays, there are two types of connectors which are commonly used: the O-ring and the vacuum lock (sometimes stylized instead as "Vac-U-Lock".)

Each possesses their own unique advantages and disadvantages.

The O-ring is, as its name suggests, is a circular ring through which a dildo can be inserted.

O-rings can either be removable, able to be snapped in and out of place, or sewn permanently into the harness.

Typically, strap-style harnesses will feature the first design while lingerie-style will utilize the second, although exceptions do exist.

Replaceable O-rings come in a number of standard sizes, usually starting at around 1 inch in diameter and gradually increase to 1.25 inch, 1.5 inch, 1.75 inch models - and perhaps even larger models beyond.

In general, O-rings work best when the dildo has a flared or rounded base, so it can nestle snugly against the ring without any danger of slipping out during intercourse.

Meanwhile, vacuum locks are far less universally present, although they are becoming more and more popular with each year.

A "Vac-U-Lock" resembles a flat circle with a raised protrusion in the middle. The "lock" is inserted into a hole or depression in the base of the dildo itself, creating a tight seal between the two parts of the strap-on.

Once you have completed your pegging session, removing the dildo from the harness is as simple as breaking the seal with a "snap" noise and putting the two parts away until next time.

As we mentioned earlier, both O-rings and vacuum locks come with their advantages and disadvantages.

O-rings are significantly more versatile, as the various available sizes mean that they are compatible with a large variety of dildos of all sizes, shapes and thicknesses.

In addition, many harnesses are designed to accommodate several common sizes of O-ring, so that both small and large dildos can be used without worry that they might not fit.

Vacuum locks, on the other hand, are considered to be extremely comfortable, as there is no concern that the flared base of the dildo will rub uncomfortably against sensitive areas of your body during penetration.

This is because, with a vacuum lock, the entire dildo remains on the outside of the harness, and does not come into contact with the body of the wearer at all.

Unfortunately, despite their ever-increasing popularity, vacuum locks have not yet reached the versatility of the more widespread O-ring.

They can be used only with specific compatible dildos which contain a hole, slot or gap into which the protrusion of the Vac-U-Lock can be inserted.

In addition, the "seal" which is created between the harness and the dildo is not considered to be as secure as the support provided by an O-ring snugly nestled against the base of the dildo.

In fact, if penetration becomes too rough, there is even a chance that dildo could "snap off" and become separated from the harness entirely as the "bottom's" asshole tightly grips it.

Therefore, we would strongly recommend an O-ring over a vacuum lock as the connector of choice for your anal penetration strap-on setup.

Ultimately, the greater support and decreased risk of coming undone during penetration gives the O-ring a significant advantage over all of its current competitors on the market.

There are two other small factors which should play a role in the decision about what type of harness to buy for yours and your partner's assplay sessions.

If this seems like a lot, don't worry - we're almost done! Just a little bit more to go through!

These final factors are as follows:

  • Fasteners: Some strap-style harnesses will use adjustable buckles to allow the straps to be tightened or loosened as needed, while others will instead use metal D-shaped rings ​- called, in fact, D-rings! - to serve the same purpose. While both are fairly sturdy, buckles tend to provide a greater amount of support and are therefore recommended over D-rings when it comes to anal penetration. D-rings are significantly more difficult to keep from slipping or coming undone during the rougher sort of penetration which anal play so often involves.

  • The Wearer's Pleasure: Some types of harness will come with add-ons designed to pleasure the wearer at the same time as they are thrusting into their partner. The most common such add-on is a small pocket placed just above the clitoris area into which the wearer's preferred small bullet vibrator can be inserted.

    The vibrator remains pressed snugly against the clitoris due to the consistent thrusting motions of penetration, allowing the person wearing the harness to reach orgasm just as their partner does. While the question of whether or not you desire such add-ons in your harness is, of course, a matter of personal preference, we would like to make a note that many strap-on wearers find their partner less able to pleasure them (orally, manually or otherwise) during anal penetration.

    This is because he or she will, in many cases, need to focus on keeping their asshole relaxed so it does not grip or grab at the dildo. (Also, if they are relatively new to anal penetration, they may also wish to focus on relaxing their body in general in order to get accustomed to - and hopefully enjoy) the sensation.

    Therefore, we often recommend purchasing a harness which can support a bullet vibrator in order to allow your partner to focus on their own pleasure during early penetration experiences.

Once you've picked out the right harness and the right dildo, you're just about ready to go. Set the mood, engage in some foreplay, get your partner's hole nice and stretched out, and get thrusting!

However, there are a few additional equipment-focused tips we'd like to provide you with to make your anal penetration experiences even more pain-free and - most importantly - pleasurable.

So, as we bring our article to a close, here are our "Last Tips" for bringing your partner a leg-shaking mind-melting anal orgasm!

Additional Tips

When it comes to lubricant, always buy more than you think you need.

The anus does not produce any lubrication of its own, so you need to rely on store-bought, manmade solutions entirely.

Always use a store-bought lubricant - household items such as shampoo or bodily fluids such as saliva should NEVER be considered an acceptable substitute.

Both water-based and silicone-based lubricants are acceptable when it comes to lubing up your partner's asshole.

Some people may also prefer oil-based lubricants, although most people tend to find that they are uncomfortably sticky as well as far too thin to provide enough comfort and support during anal intercourse.

Silicone-based lubricants are generally thicker, with a "butter" or "cream-like" texture which does an excellent job of protecting the tender flesh in and around the anus.

Water-based lubricants are thinner, although they also possess a smooth, silky texture which can be very pleasurable for the person being penetrated.

In addition, silicone-based lubricants are NOT compatible with dildos or other sexual toys made from silicone, as the material is capable of reacting with itself and causing the toy to rot and degrade almost instantly.

Using silicone-based lubricant can, unfortunately, decrease the expected lifespan of your toy by months and even years.

If you are using a silicone dildo - which we recommended earlier in this article as an excellent choice for pegging newbies due to its smooth texture - do not forget to always stick to water-based lube for any and all anal penetration activities.

We highly recommend purchasing a pack of several spare O-rings and keeping them on hand for those rare situations in which something goes wrong.

A cracked or damaged O-ring is, unfortunately, one of the few risks which arise from an enthusiastic, athletic anal penetration session.

The O-ring is typically one of the least strong parts of the entire strap-on setup, as they tend to be small, thin, and not made from anything stronger than hard plastic.

Having a few spare O-rings on hand during yours and your partner's planned pegging nights is a great way to be prepared for any slip-ups or mistakes which might occur as you are getting accustomed to the feel and movement of each other's bodies - as they always say, forewarned is forearmed, after all!

If you are already in possession of a sturdy, strap-style harness and its accompanying O-rings, you are more than welcome to use this for your anal penetration sessions, even if you have previously used it only for vaginal or oral-based sexual activities.

"If you are already in possession of a sturdy, strap-style harness and its accompanying O-rings, you are more than welcome to use this for your anal penetration sessions, even if you have previously used it only for vaginal or oral-based sexual activities."

However, we HIGHLY recommend purchasing a brand new dildo specifically to be used for pegging.

Unfortunately, this does mean that you should also purchase a new harness if the harness you currently own features a single, permanently attached dildo which cannot be replaced or switched out.

The reason for this is that the bacteria found in and around the anal area, transmitted via human fecal matter, can represent a health risk when introduced to other areas of your body.

In particular, bacteria from the anus making its way to the vagina or penis is the number one cause of urinary tract infections (UTIs), a painful condition which requires visiting the doctor and being prescribed antibiotics.

Therefore, if you and your partner intend to use a strap-on for multiple types of penetration, we recommend purchasing and setting aside at least one which is designated specifically for anal use.

If both you and your partner wish to be penetrated anally, we further recommend each of you purchasing a separate dildo for use in your own asshole, so the two of you do not accidentally transmit your own bacteria to the other.

Of course, even if you purchase a specifically designated anal dildo for your strap-on apparatus, we still recommend regularly cleaning your toy after each penetration session.

This is the number one way to avoid the accidental transmission of harmful bacteria to other areas of the body.

Luckily, cleaning a strap-on dildo - especially one made from an easy to handle material such as silicone - is a s simple task.