BDSM Collar: The Basics

Posted by Andrew Schroeder on

A collar is among the most widespread BDSM supplies, and they are the quintessential symbol of submission and dominance. You can use them for all sorts of kinky play, dirty fetishes, and even non-sexual activities.

If you want to dominate your partner and assert your authority or ownership over them, you should definitely keep some collars in your secret toybox! However, if you’re not into the idea of dragging your leather-clad slave around and abusing him or her, collars and chokers can still contribute to some unforgettable naughty moments during regular sex. And did you know that some communities and couples use collars as a replacement for engagement and wedding rings? Take a look at our ultimate guide to BDSM collars. You’ll learn why they are one of the hottest adult accessories in the world!

Why Collars?

Collars are an accessory that the wearers can place around their necks. Over the years, people made them out of various materials, including leather, nylon, silk, and metal.

While they’re also a distinct fashion statement, you may associate them with pets. Collars are used as a means of restraint, protection, and the assertion of ownership over a pet. That is why they are ideal for BDSM relationships. In a typical BDSM scene, the sub could wear one to symbolize their submission. Essentially, they become the wearer or the “collared.” Then, the dominant partner can take control of the wearer. That way, the collar becomes a symbol of ownership and power. Then, it can be used for all sorts of erotic humiliation activities and naughty BDSM adventures.

Moreover, human collars come in many varieties. That includes locking collars with attachments for a leash, rope, or similar restraints. You can even use some steel or leather ones to improve and correct your slave’s posture. These posture collars can have additional accessories like gag balls and even electrical stimulators.

On the other hand, submissives can wear their collars simply as a fashion accessory. In other cases, a collar can reveal a sub’s status in public. In such an instance, it could be a simple choker or a necklace. These types are ideal for subs who wish to wear a discreet day collar in public. Additionally, slave collars are a common sight at BDSM events. The wearer could put them on during gatherings to show that they are willing to play with others. What’s more, in BDSM relationships, collars can replace wedding rings during special ceremonies.

What Do Collars Symbolize?

We’ve already brushed on some of the symbolism behind sex collars, but it’s vital to note that they represent different things to different individuals.

At its most basic level, a collar can express the formal ownership of the sex slave or the sub. It exemplifies the transfer of authority or power to the dominant partner. In a way, the item can also represent the relationship between the doms and subs, as well as their commitment.

But like with all sex and relationship matters, there are no set-in-stone standards. The meaning behind a collar will depend on the individual’s needs, preferences, and desires.

For example, the dominant could give one to their slave as a reward for their obedience. The collar can also represent protection. The sub may even wear one to feel safe in a BDSM relationship. In other cases, submissives could wear collars to pursue their desires for sexual humiliation. Some could even introduce them into new relationships as a way of testing their partner.

Overall, the symbolism of these accessories is open to interpretation. That makes them stand out in comparison to other sex toys and kinky items.

Types of Collars

As mentioned earlier, there is a wide variety of different types of collars. Some people might use only one kind, while others could mix and match them according to their mood.

Day collars, for instance, can look like regular jewelry items. The submissive could wear them in public to maintain their slave status during the day. Chokers and necklaces can allow the slave to blend in without attracting odd looks at work or elsewhere. Conversely, permanent collars can include a lock-and-key mechanism. The dominant could own the key and use it to control their sex slave. Other kinds include petplay collars, eternity collars, shock collars for humans, protection collars, fashion collars for women, etc.

It’s crucial to mention that, regardless of the type, wearing a collar and being collared are actually two different things. You could choose to simply put one on and experiment with bondage or other activities meant only for sex and pleasure. However, collaring is a BDSM lifestyle that represents a deeper commitment. So before you choose which of the two suits you better, consider your sexual desires and relationship needs.

Consideration Collars

In the BDSM collar community, there are several stages to wearing a collar, and they all involve different types of the item. The consideration collar is often the first choice of many couples. It can signify that the dominant is testing or considering the submissive for a deeper relationship. It represents the first step in a new relationship. In most cases, you can wear this collar for a set period.

If the relationship turns out to be successful, the mistress or the master can settle on another arrangement with their slave and take things to the next level. Usually, these collars are quite simple. You’ll commonly find them in leather and without any additional features like locking mechanisms.

Training Collars

Much like the name signifies, this type is a step up from the previous. New slaves who have completed the consideration stage can earn them. The sub can wear one to display their dedication to their master or mistress. It signifies a training period during which the dominant can train the slave and decide if he or she is worth it.

Sometimes, couples can skip the consideration collar and choose the training collar first. This type is perfect for newbies and kinksters who are just starting to explore the lifestyle. During the training, the dominant can test their submissive in any way to determine if they have what it takes to meet their requirements. The training collar hints at the dominant’s power and ownership. These types can often look like regular leather collars; however, they can incorporate multiple rings for all sorts of training scenarios.

Protection Collars

Protection is a crucial aspect of BDSM because it ensures trust between the sub and dom. Furthermore, placing someone under your protection is essential during BDSM gatherings. If you’re in a monogamous BDSM relationship, you’ll need to express the fact that your partner belongs only to you. That’s why this collar is the ideal symbol of protection and ownership. Many people often put it on during BDSM events, and it can be immensely useful.

The sub can wear a protection collar to publicly show off their status and let everyone know that they are taken. This collar ensures that other doms will not approach the sub during gatherings and parties. Newbies can also wear them as a sort of safety net in dungeons or clubs. With it, they will not be bothered by single doms who are looking for new slaves.

What’s more, one can wear a protection collar before the consideration stage. That way, it can signify that the couple is thinking about upgrading to the consideration collar. In this case, the pair lets others in the community know that the submissive is unavailable, even if they are not wearing an ownership collar. Quite often, this collar can display the dom’s initials as well as the letter “P” to announce the sub’s status.

Moreover, this type also assures the submissive that they are in safe hands. That way, the protection collar represents the responsibility of the dominant toward the sub.

Play Collars

Play collars are the most typical types that you’ll see in BDSM relationships. These are worn during any type of kinky play at home or during public events. The master or mistress can tie this collar around their slave’s neck before a session. It’s a fantastic choice for mentally preparing the slave. These collars can be either tight or loose and contain various or no attachments.

Some of the most effective examples are collars with D rings. The dominant can attach chains or leashes to them and can try all sorts of bondage and fetish activities with their sub. These types are usually made of leather, but other kinds like nylon or metal collars are also efficient.

Moreover, they can contain the initials of the dom or sub or their BDSM aliases. In other cases, they can also display personalized messages like “fucktoy,” “daddy’s slut,” “filthy slave whore,” etc.

Day Collars

As stated before, collars can even be worn outdoors and during everyday activities. For this, subs can put on day collars. These are used to represent their BDSM roles in public while remaining inconspicuous at the same time. While a sexy leather slut collar with spikes may be perfect for the couple’s dirty dungeon, it may not be entirely appropriate for the office or the supermarket.

Just about anything can be used for a day collar — from a simple choker to a leather necklace. Some could even wear subtle PVC neck bands or chain necklaces with pendants. These could also contain engravings of initials or a message. Additionally, a bracelet, an anklet, or a toe ring could represent a BDSM day collar as well.

Permanent Collars

This type represents a long-term BDSM bond, and, in some way, it acts as a wedding ring, minus the legal implications. It is also referred to as the eternity collar, ownership collar, formal collar, or the slave collar. It is undoubtedly the most serious type that a couple can choose once they’ve completed the consideration and training stage.

Ideally, you should only remove BDSM permanent collars with permission from the mistress or master. The couple has to discuss and set the terms of this type of relationship carefully. In many cases, the removal of this collar represents the relationship’s end. However, the couple can set exceptions and rules that respect the wearer’s privacy. In many cases, this type involves a special ceremony during which the dominant presents the new collar to the sub.

This collar is highly symbolic, and, as mentioned, the couple will need to discuss their feelings and needs before using one. It’s crucial to establish a thorough understanding of what the collar will signify and what sort of rules will arrive with it. In addition, this type can contain locking mechanisms. Quite often, these collars are thin and discreet. Some can be crafted out of thin stainless steel, gold, or a strap of leather. Nevertheless, you can still replace them with kinkier collars that contain various attachments during sessions.

Posture Collars

This type is a traditional one that you’ve probably already seen in historical outfits. The posture collar is quite rigid, and its width can extend from the shoulders to the chin. That can block any neck movements and ensure that the chin stays up. Dominant partners can use them for training their slaves and improving their balance and posture. Also, they are widely used during any sex and domination play to keep the submissive from moving or tilting their head downward.

There are many variants of these submissive collars, and the most popular is the neck corset. The majority of these collars are created out of leather, metal, rubber, and PVC. Additionally, many contain BDSM add-ons and attachments, spikes, gag balls, O-rings, etc. While posture collars are perfect for ensuring a slave’s obedience, they are also highly versatile for sessions and all sorts of fetish activities.

Petplay Collars

These collars explicitly emphasize a pet-like relationship between the dom and sub. They are common in most petplay relationships in which one or both participants take on the roles of animals. That can involve imitating the sounds and actions of a pet, crawling, hand-feeding and petting, wearing sex toys like butt plugs with animal tails, etc.

This type often looks like a regular pet collar or similar. Petplay collars are often made of leather and contain attachments for leashes or name tags. Many people use them in conjunction with masks, puppy ears, and similar pet-like add-ons.

What’s more, they are highly versatile for enacting all sorts of petplay scenarios and relationship dynamics.

Shock Collars

People who are into painplay and other extreme BDSM kinks could try some shock collars, although we cannot advise it.

Once wrapped around the wearer’s neck, these collars can deliver electric shocks of different intensities. They contain contact points which will release electric current on command. Dog trainers often use them, and they are quite dangerous for humans.

In BDSM, they may work for punishment or for behavior training. These kinds of collars are not recommended due to risks of injury.

However, some safe types which only give out mild shocks are available. In addition, there are many other similar collars that do not use electricity. For instance, they can generate vibrations or beeps instead of shocks.

Collar Accessories

We’ve listed some examples of collar attachments previously, but it’s also worth noting that they can contain hundreds of extra features.

The most common add-ons are metal rings, usually with a D shape. You can add all sorts of attachments to these, such as detachable leashes and ropes. Couples can use them for multiple bondage techniques, with the most classic being the BDSM collar and leash configuration. Keep in mind that multiple rings can support several ropes.

You can also use these to attach ankle, thigh, or heel ties. With various bondage sets, the collar can be the basis for hogties (from the back or front) and multiple other patterns. You can also combine collars with armbinders, straps, whips, buckles, blindfolds, etc. As always, it’s essential to use any accessory safely and carefully.

You can also add additional features like cuffs, chains, spikes, name tags, and hooks to collars. As mentioned before, posture collars can contain gag balls and O-rings for the mouth, which can be useful for all sorts of kinky play. Pairing up a collar with various accessories and attachments can take your BDSM play to the next level.

Leashes, Leads, and Ropes

Leashes are undoubtedly among the most common accessories to use during collar play. If the collar contains rings or loops, a proper-fitting leash will give the dominant even more control over the sub. The leash, rope, or lead will further symbolize the relationship between the slave and the owner. The leash can also represent the power of the dominant and the obedience of the submissive. If you’re thinking about ropes and leashes, you’ll need to consider their length and material. Many collar products include a detachable leash or even a built-in one.

On the kinkier side of things, the leash can be used for pain play, choking, and extreme dominance.

Materials and Colors

So what type of sex collar would be ideal for you? Primarily, the best option to choose first would be a black collar made of leather. It’s the most common, and it’s almost always present at BDSM events. It’s worth noting that many leather collars are adjustable and that they contain soft padding and soft edges for a comfortable fit. Usually, the width of an average collar is around two or three inches. What’s more, the list of collar materials is quite long, and it includes faux leather, ribbon, suede, metal, plastic, rubber, and many more.

Additionally, a lot of customization options are available for collars, and, as noted before, many day collars may not even resemble any sex-related accessory. For instance, some can look like solid metal rings without any clasps. Collars and their colors can carry special meanings, but you can also wear them for their aesthetics. For instance, you could choose one with the color or design that looks the best to you. Before picking one, always make sure that the material will not cause any allergies for you or your partner.

Collar Etiquette

Collaring is a serious lifestyle, and people who take part in long-term collar relationships are highly dedicated to them. Of course, you can wear collars to experiment with kinky sex any time, and you can simply skip the collar hierarchy we’ve talked about previously if you so desire.

However, it’s critical always to be respectful of others who wear them and try not to be offensive or degrading regarding their choices. If you’re attending a BDSM event, you’ll have to follow some proper etiquette. For instance, try not to touch another’s collar. Also, if it’s a protection type, don’t insist on dominating someone who is already taken.

Additionally, you shouldn’t assume meanings from other people’s collars. For example, if your BDSM circle thinks of a red collar as an invitation, others could treat it as a stop or a “keep away” sign. It’s crucial to respect another’s collar and simply ask them about it before jumping to conclusions. If they refuse to answer, understand that they are not willing to discuss their private life with you. Many BDSM groups follow different rules that you shouldn’t disrespect, and it’s best to merely follow them.

Non Sexual Collars (Chokers)

Lastly, it’s crucial to emphasize that chokers may not always be worn by those who are into BDSM and collaring practices.

Some people, especially women, can just wear them as a fashion accessory and due to their sexy look. Unfortunately, chokers can contain various negative stereotypes that you should pay attention to. Some of the incorrect assumptions are that only cock-hungry sluts looking for sex or BDSM slaves will wear them. However, a choker doesn’t always signify that someone is ready to get dominated or is looking for meaningless sex. They may not wear them to send out strong sexual signals and invitations. So try not to automatically assume that when you meet a stranger with a choker, instead, treat them with respect.

Additionally, if someone wears a necklace or a similar piece of jewelry that may resemble a day collar, try not to ask too many questions and respect their privacy.

Final Thoughts

As you’ve seen today, BDSM collars are infinitely enjoyable! They can offer nearly limitless options in regard to sexual play, bondage, fetishes, submission, and dominance, as well as relationship dynamics. Collars are also a powerful symbol of dominant and submissive relationships and are an indispensable aspect of the BDSM world. If you’re interested in trying this endlessly kinky lifestyle, consider the etiquette, collar types and their hierarchy, as well as the different kinds of collaring relationships before trying one. Don’t forget about all the incredibly naughty accessories like leashes or ropes that can open up a whole new world of fun! So take a look at some collars today and good luck!


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